two months later...

Yes, I am still on the face of the planet and still trying to cut my journalism teeth...

Did I mention that I almost quit my job back in July? That I was so stressed out my teeth felt funny (those baby journalistic again) That I would lie awake at night worried about working? That I would start writing blogs and then my thoughts would just drift away... nothing ever seemed right...

When I am stressed out, I retreat... far... into myself. Don't talk to me, don't ask me questions, and by all means don't expect me to do anything... I just want to be me, and a good esacapist-type book (like the whole Harry Potter series for like the fifth time) and leave me be... I think M. was losing his mind... what was happening to his wife?

Dont' get me wrong. I love my job, and I still do. But when you haven't done any reporting before and you're rather new in town (and hear about things fifth- or sixth- hand after everyone else knows it... grrr...) and you don't really know how to get in there and get the story (because people in small towns don't open up well to people considered outsiders... and I am an outsider)... and then I get my boss saying brilliant things like "Keep your ear to ground" and "Keep the lines of communication open" when I ask for help... (does anyone understand what they mean?) My boss is a great guy, but for a long time he was all to willing with the criticism and close-mouthed about any helpful suggestions as to improve. Talk about frustrating.

I tried for a month, and finally decided to talk to my boss. We sat down over lunch and we had a great talk. He finally opened up with ways to get out there and get the stories. He is finally sitting down with me with the stuff that I write and going through them with me and showing me what I need to be focussing on. Eureka - I've found it! What a difference! That's not to say that I still don't have my challenges to overcome, but atleast I have more tools and resources under my belt to address those challenges...

It feels good to finally get this off my back... keeping it internal was such a burden...

I will be updating more frequently as my schedule gets back on track!