"the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to"

preamble: in case you don't know, the above quote is from Hamlet's famous "to be or not to be" monologue. It goes like this:

To be, or not to be - that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep -
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to.

Two weeks ago I happened to catch Kenneth Branagh's 3-hour long version of the tragedy of the Danish prince, and, no matter how many times I have read or heard or seen the play, there is always something new and fresh that hits me. I felt sorry for Hamlet, who contemplates suicide in this speech and only foregoes the act because of the unknown terrors of what lies beyond the grave (he wasn't a very good Catholic, was he?)

Anyways, this quote spoke to me because all of us, in some major or small way, feel the "thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." I pictured something like a shockwave rolling through our bodies and affecting us body, mind and spirit.

You may be wondering how on earth I would have an afternoon off in the middle of the week in order to watch the 3-hour long version of Hamlet. It's a long story, but it will explain why I have been MIA for two weeks. It starts back in January when I was diagnosed with an urinary tract infection (UTI) and was prescribed antibiotics, which didn't clear it up. I went to my doctor who gave me a prescription for a stronger antibiotics (AB). This was Friday, Feb. 9.

On Feb. 10, while covering an event for work, I collapsed, or nearly so. They called in the ambulance to take me to the clinic in town. I told them I was pregnant and had a UTI and they kept me for observation for a few hours. They felt my kidneys, which were tender. They told me to keep an eye on this. That evening, my kidneys started to hurt, so it was off to the clinic again. The nurses there called the Smithers hospital (Houston does not have 24 hour emergency health care yet). The doctor there wanted me to come. It was a serious kidney infection, not something that is easily treated in a pregnant woman, because of the all the drugs they CAN'T give me. After another battery of tests they hooked me up to IV so I could get some fluids and some IV AB. We didn't get home until 2 am.

For the rest of the week I had to go twice a day to the Houston clinic for more IV and IV AB. More tests. Very, very tired. Slept 15 hours a day. Couldn't really eat anything. By Wednesday I was on AB pills and the following Sunday I had my last IV solution. I was glad to get that needle out. You see, if you're coming in every day, they don't take the IV hookup out and start a fresh one. Saves them a lot of poking and prodding. But damn if the needle they leave in doesn't sting a lot and you can't really do anything with your hand. I learned how to brush my teeth with my left hand. It wasn't a pretty sight.

So I have spent the past two weeks sleeping, eating, watching TV, reading, more sleeping, and going to the doctor (many visits). I have undergone so many different kinds of tests I never believed were out there - and I shall spare you the details. The good news is that the baby is fine; we've had two ultrasounds done and Chickpea (that's the name my sisters gave junior) is doing fine in his/her little peapod.

More good news is that the kidney infection seems to be over. But I'm still in pain and they're not sure why. More tests. The results should be in sometime this week and of course I'll be updating it here. In the meantime, prayers would be welcome! People from my church have been great with their support and bringing us meals, which for the most part have been delicious (though I found out I'm not a big fan of shepherd's pie).

On top of all of this, my boss has been on my case about how much time I'll be off. I'm not sure, I say, my doctor's aren't sure what's wrong with me. My doctor was nice and signed off on my short term disability form for four weeks (I have two weeks left). That wasn't good enough for my boss, who, in a perfect world, wanted my doctor to sign off for 17 weeks. My doctor is sympathetic to my cause, but can't really give me 17 weeks off for a kidney infection. He's going to look into the matter and reassess me and if I'm still tired and worn out, of course I can't work, and he'll sign off more time for me. But one night my boss called me and we had a little chat in which he, in not so many words, threatened that my job was on the line if I didn't figure something out. What a nice guy. But I took care of it. I don't know if he knows this blog address, so I won't say anymore on the topic, but it has been taken care of, which is a huge relief, because the last thing I needed was more stress.

So there you go... this week I'm feeling a tad better (as in I'm sleeping for about 12-13 hours a day instead of my usual 15+). I'm eating more and taking my vitamins so hopefully things go up from here.